I’m throwing myself a Pity Party
My buns have RSV. If you don’t know what that is, it‘s an upper respiratory virus that you’ve probably seen an article on at least 5 times every winter, and scrolled right by it. It can be extremely serious for little babies(like my Roscoe), and the elderly, but for most of us, it’s just a bad cold.
Luckily, it didn’t require either of them to be admitted to the hospital, but that also means we’re stuck at home, in the house, until it clears. If you’re a parent, you know what it’s like being stuck at home with your children for an extended amount of time. Especially when they’re sick. It’s basically hell on earth.
First of all, they’re sick. There may be nothing worse than watching your babies suffer through sickness. Oh wait, dealing with any guy with the man flu is totally worse. But not for the same reasons. Anyway, trying to deal with one sick child is hard enough, especially a baby, but two kids? I severely underestimated my ability to feel sorry for someone until I had to feel sorry for two someones. Two someones I gave birth to. RSV is one of those “ride it out” viruses that you basically watch take over your baby and then slowly, ever so slowly, leave. It is awful.
Secondly, we are quarantined. We are stuck in this house until they’re better. RSV is highly contagious and I’ll be damned if I make any of you suffer through this too. So here we sit, going on day 5, in this house. Looking at the same 5 rooms, the same 3 faces. I’m. Going. Insane. There are only so many things you can do before you’ve done everything. Twice.
And lastly, and this is where I give myself a big ole pity party. I am at the mercy of two tiny humans who seem to need nothing and everything all at once. And apparently I am the only one that can give it to them. They don’t want their dad, they don’t want their grandma. They want their mama. Please do not misunderstand though, TONS of people have reached out and offered to help. My darling cousins even got together and sent us dinner so I had one less thing to worry about (love you all, you're the best). But I don't want to expose anyone else to this and spread it around, so there isn't much anyone else can do without risking getting sick themselves.
When you become a parent, you automatically give up certain things. It comes with the territory; hot coffee, peeing alone, personal space. But when your kids are sick, multiply that by 1,000. They are leeches. Their dad could be sitting 3 feet away with plenty of room near him, and my toddler insists on sitting on top of me as I feed his baby brother. And naturally, they both need 100% of you at the same time. They both(or all 3 or 4, depending on how many children you have) need held and coddled and loved on at the same time, and if it’s not just how they want it, the tears start.
In the last 5 days, I’m pretty sure all 3 of us just held on and cried together at least once a day. I can’t remember the last time I washed my hair or put a bra on. Every piece of clothing I own has spit up, snot, or tears on it somewhere. The bags under my eyes are taking up a permanent residence. I have to check, and double check the medicine I do give because the baby can’t have the same things Jordy can & the dog is also on a steroid so let’s make sure we don’t give that to any of the humans. I haven’t slept longer than a 3 hour stretch, if I even get that many hours in a night. I don’t actually know what day it is. If I have to watch another Disney or Pixar movie I’m going to rip my hair out. My neck muscles actually hurt from sucking snot through the nose freida every 30 minutes so one, or both, of my kids can breathe. I have tried(and mostly failed) to guess how many ounces of formula Roscoe will choose to eat at each feeding because, of course, he’s on the most expensive shit there is and I’ll cry(again) if I have to throw one more ounce away.
Usually, this is where the mom goes on about tomorrow being another day and it'll get better and whatever. Instead, I’m grabbing a drink, cranking the melancholy music, & and hanging out at this pity party for a bit longer. Just kidding. I'm not actually doing any of those things. I'm going to bed. But i am going to feel sorry for myself for a little longer. I think I earned it.
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