Mama Monday - Sarah
Hey mamas! Welcome to our 3rd week of Mama Monday, and let me tell you, this one is SO GOOD!
This is Sarah, her partner Jen, and her son Aidan. Sarah is going give us some insight on what it's like raising a bun with a same-sex partner.
Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty of our interview, I want to say a little bit about what I know about Sarah. Sarah and I "met" a few years ago when LulaRoe was all the craze and we were in the same FaceBook group where we purchased our beloved leggings. So really, we only knew each other from how often our "sold" comments showed up under certain posts. But when the Sarge got deployed and left me at home with an 8 month old and a freshly sold house, our mutual friend Marisa(who was also our LulaRoe rep), mentioned to our group to keep me in their thoughts. Sarah did not hesitate to reach out. Or to do something supset sweet for me, someone she really didn't know at all. But that's who she is. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met and I have loved every second of getting to know her better in the last 2 years. So I am so damn excited for you all to hear about her life and her family because she is truly special. So please, enjoy!
"Hi! I’m Sarah, a 41 year old (gulp) mom of a 10 year old named Aidan! I was going through a divorce from Aidan’s dad when I had Aidan. After Aidan was born, I decided to start dating again, and found Jennifer. (I knew I was bisexual from a young age but Jen was my first serious same-sex relationship).
Parenting with her was difficult at first...how do I explain to my 5 year old about mom's relationship and her role in our lives? But as time went on, it wasn’t even a worry! Things came naturally, and Aidan and Jen built their own relationship. He jokes and calls her Daddy Jen sometimes, and they have their own inside jokes.
Making decisions about Aidan with Jen by my side is easier, and she often brings a realist approach while I’m over in a corner making emotional decisions. We were also worried that he would get picked on because his mom is in a relationship with a woman. Nope. The only issue we’ve had was from our former church.
I was deeply imbedded into the church, Aidan was too. We were both baptized in the church and heavily involved. I was a guide for an after school program that we both enjoyed, and Aidan looked forward to me being his guide when he entered 3rd grade. When this church found out that I was in a relationship with Jen, it was made crystal clear that I was no longer accepted as being a guide. Aidan was devastated. The hardest part was explaining, in our own way, why mom was no longer a guide. We did it with grace and maturity, but, it still baffles Aidan. I have found the more Aidan, Jen, and I show how positive we are for each other, the more accepting (hopefully) people can be!"
1. What is your favorite thing about being a mama?
My absolute favorite thing about being a mom is seeing my son, Aidan, grow. Not only physically, but more so in his development. To watch his kindness, intelligence, and innocence makes my heart smile. I love seeing him experience things for the first time and being there to help guide him. His smile when he’s proud of an accomplishment, or him figuring out something on his own...I know I’m doing something right! One more thing! I taught Aidan to hold up one finger, then 4, then 3 to symbolize “I love you” for when you want to say it but don’t want to be “that dude” in front of your friends. Every morning when he’s at the bus stop, we exchange “1-4-3’s” multiple times. He’s a sweet boy!
2. What surprised you most about being a mama?
The biggest surprise to me about being a mom was how much it changed me. Life changes us, and we mature, but I grew up very quickly when I had Aidan. No longer was I number 1...he came before all of my needs. When I woke up, it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the day, but what was necessary for Aidan. He still is my number one priority, but, I’ve found balance is key. My relationship with Jen is important to me, and balance with her is important, too. Aidan has known her as being a major part of our lives since he’s known her for a good part of his life, and including all three of us in family time is an important balance.
3. What is the most difficult thing about being a mama?
Extending on balance, I’ll say that learning how to juggle all of the priorities when it comes to being mom has been my biggest challenge. Learning self care is key! I used to feel guilty taking an hour to go shopping solo or getting a pedicure. Now I realize, not only do I deserve the treat, but, it helps ground me. Also, I found not losing my s*it has been difficult. Jennifer and I own a cleaning business together(Sarah's Cleaning Service!) where we have 3 employees and 80 clients. While I’m trying to get Aidan out the door in the morning, Jennifer and I ready for our day, answering employees and clients; not the best time to tell me you forgot to do your homework, Aidan!
4. The best advice you’ve ever gotten as a mama?
I used to try to be the model mom: homemade cookies for bake sales, PTA volunteer extraordinaire, Sunday school teacher, sign-ups for all the events...YES YES YES! I was told by a smart, fellow mom, it’s ok to say NO! My word, did that help! You don’t have to be a picture-perfect Pinterest mom, nor do you have to hold yourself up to the Facebook perfected moms. Remember, to all the positive, fantastic posts, they are not-so-great moments, sinks of dishes, and messy cars!
5. Favorite mama products?
I’m addicted to splurges from my friends online boutique: The Trunk Show with Alaina and Marisa! I also love makeup! I love Jen and Aidan, they complain about my makeup routine (screw that!)! Tarte is my absolute favorite for a nice palette. I also was blessed to have naturally long lashes and I frequently get asked about my mascara. Better Than Sex by Too Faced is my jam! Fenty makes amazing foundation, and I’m never without lip balm.
6. Favorite bun products?
I asked Aidan’s advice on this one. Legos! He loves his Legos! Books, too! I’ve always read to him (even in the womb) and we love any book we can get our hands on.
7. Favorite mama hack?
My favorite mom hack is simple: and it’s more of a philosophy more than a hack. Don’t stress about what others think about you or your parenting. Be open to advice, however, others judgements are theirs. Focus on what you want from your parenting and focus on your strengths as a parent.
For any questions or, if you just want to get to know this amazing mama more, find her on Facebook or Instagram! And, as usual, you can reach me by checking out the Find Me tab at the top of the page.
Check back next week to meet our mama who is absolutely, totally, for sure done having buns....maybe.
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